success « Matthew Dent

What motivates you? It maybe a corner office, wealth, influencing others, or to reach a level others have failed to accomplish. Motivation is NOT a behavior, however, it strongly influences our behaviors. I would define motivation as the psychological source of personal energy that drives you to succeed. There are many types of social motives, however, three of the underlying social motives are: achievement, affiliation, and influence.

The need for achievement can be described as a way to do something quicker, better, easier or simply more efficient. The thought pattern of achievement motivated people may include: out-performing someone else, meeting or exceeding self-imposed standards, striving for unique accomplishments, and thinking about long-term career connections. When I think of achievement I am driven to succeed by self-imposed standards I have set for myself. Recognizing your driving force to achieve will allow you to control the force that ignites your fire. Just remember to not cut corners when striving for your goals and avoid becoming an ineffective manager by only worrying about the results.

What motivates you to affiliate? The core concern behind affiliation is establishing, maintaining, or repairing relationships. Two types of affiliation exist; you may have a genuine interest in others or you may just want to belong. I enjoy networking, engaging in conversation, and maintaining relationships. If affiliation motivates you, you may also be concerned with disruption of relationships and also characterize group activities as social or friendly.

What drives you to influence? The goal underlying influence motivation is a concern with having impact, with reputation and influence. Influence motivation is also called power motivation. When individuals combine their ability to achieve with the ability to influence you will see a leader born. Whether the drive to influence is for personal or social gain people like having a leader. Having the ability to not only achieve but influence will create followers and in turn increase your ability to influence.

I would love to hear what motivates you. Are you driven to achieve, affiliate, and influence?

CRUX: Determine what motivates you whether it is achievement, affiliation, or influence. Understanding what keeps you going will allow you to flip the switch and ignite your fire.

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim to high and falling short; but in setting our aim to low, and achieving our mark.” -Michelangelo

Previously, we set the ground work for establishing connections and maintaining rapport as an effective starting point when it comes to networking. When most people hear the word networking, they may think of a local chamber commerce meeting or a cocktail party, boring small talk, and just what to use when leaving early. However, networking is how most people get clients, find employees, a new restaurant spot, a place to vacation, and most importantly it is the basis for developing relationships. Regardless if you are an introvert or extrovert, you can be successful at networking. It is just a matter of figuring out your style. What is your philosophy on networking?

How do you feel about meeting new people? Do you dread the thought? Or, do you look forward to engaging conversation everywhere, all the time?

The main underlining message behind networking is building bridges. Setting out to make a good first impression is always important when meeting someone for the first time. Try smiling, it is contagious. People recognize positive energy, just be genuine and consistent with who you are and others will be encouraged to engage in conversation. There is no need to be over the top, rather it is more about doing the small things that really matter. For example, a friend of mine was walking into his local chamber of commerce meeting and held the door open for the person walking in behind him. This simple gesture led to a conversation and potentially will lead to having a new client. More importantly, a bridge was formed. You never know who you might meet on a given day; you should be ready to set yourself apart from the others. Be authentic, but standout!

Go out and ask questions but remember to listen. Asking questions and getting to know someone is a very easy way to network. In return, be ready to answer questions about yourself in a confident yet humble manner. You might want to have a line rehearsed about who you are and what you do. Don’t make it robotic and be yourself; the more you do this the more natural it becomes. Take this time to practice listening and follow the steps of becoming an active listener, it will take time but you will improve. I know you may start daydreaming about how great your weekend is going to be and may miss an entire conversation but if all else fails when it comes to retaining anything from the conversation, at least remember their name. People like hearing their name, pay them a compliment by remembering their name. Master listening and you will set yourself apart from others, unfortunately most of us are too busy wanting to speak we forget to listen. Nobody ever said it was going to be easy and it requires a lot of work but with a little practice we can master this skill.

I think the hardest part of networking is maintaining the relationships we have established. Do you ever sit back and wonder what happen to a co-worker or college roommate? When this happens to me, I find ways to reconnect and then practice keeping in touch. A simple text message, email, or phone call goes along way yet it usually gets passed up because we are too busy. The social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, & Linkedin have simplified this process for you. It may take you a few hours to get these platforms up and running but after that you just need to check back periodicly. This is probably the easiest way to network with people. It just takes a little time and you can make that happen, right? Taking the time to put out a little effort lets others know you really care. Stop making the excuse, there is no reason to lose contact with a friend or co-worker. Do the little things that will keep you in touch.

CRUX: Take every opportunity to set yourself apart from others. Do the little things like building bridges, listening, and making an effort to keep in touch. This takes work and practice but focusing on others will ultimately lead to a chance for you shine.

“Success in life, in anything, depends upon the number of persons that one can make himself agreeable to.” -Thomas Carlyle